Yesterday I heard a radio discussion about 'selfish capitalism' and the unhappiness this legacy of Thatcherism has caused. It took me back to conversations with Al, sitting on our terrace in Greece and reflecting on life in the country we still cared about, even though we'd left it in pursuit of a simpler existence.

I particularly thought of what he said in his Jazz Journey: 

"Jazz and its influence have accompanied me though life. Moulding my attitudes and sense of humour and refusing to allow me to become old mentally. Jazz has this effect on its performers as well. They've retained and honed a sometimes child like but always surreal humour well into the twilight zone of their lives and being attuned to this attitude has kept my mind... fending off the years. It has kept me on a sane plane when all around have been back stabbing and glory seeking in the everyday task of survival."

Al kept that humour and stayed on that sane plane. Five days before he died, he and I engineered a brief hospital breakout; I was driving the wheelchair but he, in his pyjamas, was in charge. He had me take him past outcast smokers along a pathway, stopping to look at flowers, then up and down a suburban road in the sunshine, surveying the gardens as we passed. After that, he was happy to go back to bed.

At his woodland burial we celebrated his life. Nobody talked about his material wealth or achievements; instead they remembered the love he gave us, his sense of fun and artistic talents; the powerful stand he took for better prostate cancer treatments; his kind voice and serene, quiet smile. The things that truly measure a human being. 

Although there have been no new entries to this blog for months, the visitors keep on coming. That's a great testament to Al and it makes me (his widow, Faith) really proud to have been part of the life of such a special man. By far the most popular read is Al's Jazz Journey (see side menu), the story of how he came to love jazz and a selection of his favourite music. He wrote it for me soon after we got together in order to explain his musical love to his romantic love and later recorded voice and music together. When I listen to it, I am still impressed by the lightness of language and sheer intelligence of analysis - but most of all by the philosophy of life revealed through it. Al was my great love - and I know I was his. It feels right to use this blog he created to make some observations about his legacy. More soon.

This is Al's wife, Faith. Recently Al's prostate cancer spread to his spine, his body became overwhelmed and he died last Thursday. He had been in great pain but he slipped away gently like the true, free jazz spirit he is.

Now I'm sure he's out there bopping, keeping the angels on their toes and swapping hints on the best way to photograph clouds.

This blog is an amazing gift to us all - but Al's greatest legacy is love.

The prostate, however, has not been playing ball. My trip to Lisbon did not bear fruit and with a PSA having risen to 178 and needing firefighting a strategic - and hopefully short-term - course of hormone therapy was started four weeks ago with Casodex and then a Zoladex one month implant. This should get the numbers down to a manageable level and give breathing space while various new alternative treatments come into play. In the meantime a CT and then a bone scan have given a closer look at what is really happening inside.

I’ve just seen the oncologist and she reported that the PSA had ‘plateaued’ in the short time since re-commencing the hormone therapy. Also that the CT scan had indicated  several sclerotic areas in both iliac wings and probably two lumbar vertebrae suggestive of bony metastases.

The bone scan has been reviewed and it was concluded that there is a very small tumour in the lower spine and small metastases in the iliac wings - too small for hot spot radiotherapy ‘zapping.’ A course of bisphosphonates taken intravenously was proposed to strengthen the bone and I am researching this to decide shortly whether to take this route. A Strontium mineral supplement is also being considered as an alternative.

Physically, I have been suffering back pain on and off since January, when a long established wedge fracture was revealed by x-ray. Since this pain is NOT in the areas of suspicion indicated by the scans, it does seem that it is emanating from this fracture and associated spinal ‘wear and tear’ and I have been swallowing analgesics to cope with it.

The doctor at the local pain clinic suggested giving acupuncture a try and taking the painkillers as a suppository and/or a transdermal patch to lessen the risk of gastric damage from prolonged pill taking.

I have my first appointment with the acupuncturist this afternoon.

To finish, I must thank Yes to Life, Cancer Options and the Really Healthy Co for the invaluable help and support that I have received through this period of difficult decision making.

Some more photos of Lisbon. In colour this time . . .

This is what was awaiting me on the doormat when I checked the post this morning. Not the real thing, of course, but quite a disturbing almost life size image on a cut-out cardboard advertising blurb.

Now what business would employ such a mad advertising agency to create this as a "sales aid"?

A: A funeral parlour?

B: A religous cult?

C: A "gothic" supplies store?

D: Health insurance?

E: Kidnappers demanding a ransom?

None of the above. It was produced by South Eastern Railways to promote a 2 for 1 ticket offer on fun days out to London!

Really!

If you read Jazz Journey from my 2004 archive you may recall that I mourned the loss of my Hot House membership card. This was issued to devotees who worshipped at the court of the Baron of Bounce, purveyor of everything cool on the 1950s music scene from his castle in the AFN (American Forces Network) studios in Germany.

Well, out of the blue an email from Keith Bayliss in Swindon has arrived. He was a fellow subject of the Baron and has managed to retain his membership card over all these years. We had a great chat yesterday - disproving the commonly held belief that nostalgia is not what it used to be - and he has generously agreed to my posting his card on the blog. So here it is . . .

A revised photo album of Lisbon, taken during our recent visit to see Prof Jurasunas in Portugal. Photo files in earlier post were too small.

Latest News - 6th March 2007

Read the progress report on Al's health and treatment since the last posting indicating that the phytotherapy protocol was proving to be unsuitable.

Did you miss it?
Just in case you missed it, there is a video interview and a nice picture of us here . If you are checking it for the first time please be patient as the video can take a while - a few minutes even - to download.

Keep checking the website. Updates sometimes happen between newsletters

Very best wishes - and good health
Al and Faith

This a bit experimental, so don't be too disappointed if it doesn't work for you. Just click here and you should see a video of Faith and me.

It will be a bit slow, even with broadband. Those of you with dial-up will have to be very patient or out of luck altogether.

Feedback on success or failure will be appreciated . . . 

I’ve been watching the calendar and it’s happening tomorrow. I’m having a CT scan to see what’s really going on.

PSA and other blood tests are all very well, but they are just indicators of activity around my prostate and possible metastatic action. This scan will come up with ‘pictures’ of my bones and soft tissue inside the body.

Let’s hope that the procedure doesn’t have as much claustrophobia potential as my MRI !

We are safely back in the UK and must first apologise for no posts since October. Here is just a quickie to let you know that the Sunday Times has a very comprehensive article on therapies for prostate cancer on its Magazine section (including a write up on my pioneering treatment study - with photo) today.

If you are too late for the mag click here to see the pages online - minus photo . . . 

More news soon.

Make the most of the sunset picture, just as we are making the most of the sunsets. In just under two weeks time we head back to live in England, where we will be looking out onto a village green.

Eleven years living on this little Aegean island has been great, but it’s time to move on. Naturally, there are aspects of island life - particularly the relaxed living, the weather and the blue sea - that we will be sorry to leave behind, but these are outweighed by the prospect of setting up a new home closer to family and friends.

Also, now that the campaign behind www.prostatecancernow.org is gathering momentum, we will be closer to London where ‘it all happens’, and Faith can pursue many more writing projects. The cliché of the techno cottage and working online from anywhere on the globe is all very well, but nothing quite matches on-the-spot face to face encounters.

So, this is all the news for now as I am up to my ears in packing (how did we accumulate all this stuff?) and travel preparations. . .

Faith will be at CAM Expo, at Excel in London Docklands, on October 15th and 16th. If you would like to meet her she can be contacted via the Really Healthy Co, UK distributors of the Pfeifer protocol, at stand 1331

Professor Pfeifer will be lecturing at this event and Faith is very excited about meeting him for the first time.
CAM Expo is aimed at professionals from the world of complementary health. We are told that lay people who wish to attend need just register as 'student'.

OK, it’s another family plug, but you shouldn’t miss this if you are looking for bargain priced quality toys and lovely baby gifts.

Country Toys and Polly Pickles , online toy shops run by Faith’s daughter-in-law, are having a massive clearance sale. While stocks last EVERYTHING is on offer at 50% off! Check out their websites to scoop up some super gifts in time for Christmas . . .

We have been in UK just over a week and it's update time. My part in the 6 month study at St Barts London hospital of the phytotherapy protocol of herbal treatment for prostate cancer has come to an end with encouraging results. My PSA has settled back to a reasonably low level while my urine flow continues to be full with none of those 'must go' episodes. Other indicators such as white blood cell levels and haemoglobin are strong. I am continuing with the treatment and feeling positive about the future.

Our website at www.prostatecancernow.org is gathering momentum and Faith is filling her diary with meetings to persuade other consultants and hospitals to initiate similar tests to the one that I have been involved in. A national newspaper is also on the scene but we are holding fire on another interview until we have something even more exciting to announce than a re-run of the earlier Daily Telegraph article.